It was a cold Thursday morning, a school day for Halloween that year, and I didn’t have my older two kids for visitation. It began as a normal workday and I was running late as usual. Swerving around slow cars on 80, then 30, then 635 to 75, narrowly making the orange lights on Campbell Road and was forced to the speed limit pinned on all sides. I needed out and I needed out now. I was frantically eyeing an opening in front of the car next to me, but he seemed blissfully happy, relaxed, and smiling. He made me mad. I was jealous. I wanted to drive relaxed, traveling the speed limit in the slow lane and smiling about it. There’s no time to daydream, “take the opening” my inner GTA gaming child screamed. I downshifted and took it. Off I go to the daily death of a desk.
I arrived late, rushed to set down every bag, bottle and device as I was using two cell phones at the time. I was immediately asked by Ron, my boss, to come to his office. I quickly grabbed my notepad and a pen. I walked in and his son Chris was there as well, he’s our construction manager. I was asked to shut the door and then I sat down. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I didn’t have a good feeling as I watched Ron fidget with a paperclip attached to 5-10 sheets of paper with a typed letter on top. Ron stumbled across his words for a moment, then bluntly stated, “We’re going a different direction with your position”. I didn’t realize it, but I started crying and smiling at the same time.
That was the moment my heart stopped and the ground shook. He continued to talk, and I didn’t hear a word he said after that. The gospel diva inner voice sang, “Your contract is over.” I had been a 1099 consultant with this company for 5 years, I was told it would be 10 and now it was coming to an end only halfway. This was the end, the end of the high heels, lunch bags, breast pumping for my newborn at home, dress suits, blouses, nail polish, shaved legs, make-up and hustle of a daily commute, Oh my God! Is this really happening, can you do this? Can you? Yes, you’re going to retire! It’s been 25 years and you’re finally free to do whatever you want! I heard Christopher Walkin in my head say “Make it happen, Henna” and I was in a dreamland, full of green tall pines, blue skies, and hiking over rocks, a creek, and leaves of all colors.
Chris began to cry and I transported back to the office chair as Ron asked if I was ok. “I’m Great! I told you when I leave this company, I’m retiring. I just didn’t think it’d be before you, Sir. (giggling)” I was actually giggling. He was very confused as I signed my release paperwork, he gave me a hug as left, he shut the door again.
I grabbed my lunch bag, my purse, my pictures my nursing pump bag, my two phones, my water bottle, and my coffee cups and left. I just left.
I got in my car and never forgot the moment of my best drive I had ever had! I drove down Campbell Road, in the slow lane, windows down, music blaring, driving the speed limit and smiling. I’ll never have to drive over the speed limit again if I don’t want to.
During my drive, I contemplated my next step. I’d been looking at investing in land in the Ozarks for a few years now and was hoping to put down a deposit before Christmas and pay it off before the my contract was up. Little did I know my contract was going to end the same month. But wait, I couldn’t go home this early, I should enjoy the day, this new freedom was going to come with a lot of planning to make my next chapter come alive.
I stopped at my mom’s place. I just let my thoughts run wild, how could I retire on what we had? What type of land do I need? What resources would it have to have, how much property do I want, what type of vehicles do I need, and where would I live? How soon can I leave? How would I commute to visit my kids? I made a 5-year goal plan on income generation with a homestead and living needs we’d have with a baby. We already had a truck and tons of camping gear. At first, it’ll just be the indefinite camping trip, right? My mom said I was crazy, I was a city girl with no survival experience. I didn’t even own a pocket knife. She reminded me I don’t like mud, I won’t swim in anything that’s not paved with concrete and filled with clear water. She knows I hate hot weather, how could I ever live without air conditioning. She said I was going to die out there. Yup, that was my cue to leave.
I drove slowly homebound, I took streets the entire way and stopped at a local Walmart to gather my final thoughts. I first sent a email to my landlord for my 60-day notice. I assessed what funds were available after that. I had approximately $4,500 total in savings. That was enough to cover my deposit on the land, a camper, and additional gear. Arkansas, here we come. Well, I had to tell Andrew first.
It was 1pm when I parked at home and walked into our small 1-acre home in Terrell, TX. Andrew took one look at me and asked, “why are you home? did you get fired?”
I leaned into his ear and said, “my contract is over, we’re leaving Dodge!” To his surprise, my plan was going to be the solution to our problems of chasing the money only to see it spent on gas and tolls. The daycare for Drake while I went to work was not an option if we were to pay rent. The job opportunities in DFW were slim and didn’t pay well for me to support our household. Andrew was a disabled veteran that could barely walk on most days, and he was unable to work. My plan was to move to the woods, live off the grid. The dream life of raising our child free of public schools, toxicity of the city, avoid influences of society, and this would allow us to teach him the old ways, the pioneer style of living with a few modern conveniences.
Andrew had always dreamed of opening a survival school, a sort of PTSD resort for dads, and training camp for kids to learn primitive skills and bushcraft. I had always dreamed of the tiny cabin tucked into the woods near a river where I could craft, paint, hike, or fish all day. We discussed how much land we’d need and felt 20 acres would do great. We wanted something off the beaten path, preferably with its own water source and rights to our lumber. That night, we found land on landwatch.com and asked to view it. Time to get packing, we were driving there tomorrow.